You’re Not Who You Think You Are—and That’s Ok.

Your Inner Critic is Standing Between You and Your Life.

Are you familiar with your “inner roommate?”  You know, the dweller inside your head who always has something to say, provides an overwhelming amount of unsolicited advice, and somehow wields enough power to dictate your feelings, emotions, and actions; otherwise known as the “inner critic.” For those of us aware of our relentless antagonist, we are intimately familiar with the struggle, often questioning if this inner voice is representative of who we really are—our “true” self.

I’ve spent much of my adult life trying to understand my inner critic. Why is she there? Why is she so critical and judgemental? Why does she always think of the worst possible scenarios?

And through all the work, I have realized that she is not me, I am me, and I give her power.

As renowned spiritual teacher and best-selling author, Michael Singer, states in his book The Unteathered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself:

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.”

A mentor of mine asked me to start looking at my inner critic as a rebellious child that passes judgment out of fear, not rationality. And, like a child, needs to be reparented, which is the practice of giving yourself the discipline, attention and care you lacked in childhood. This shift in my perception and looking at my inner critic as a child desperately in need of direction has allowed me to regain control. When my inner critic starts getting out of hand, I simply think of it as a child acting out of turn and respond to it with a loving, but firm tone. This gives me the ability to not bend to the whims of tantrums, which is how I perceive the outbursts of my inner critic.

Controlling our inner critic and creating an inner dialogue of compassion and support is key to experiencing a different level of freedom in our lives. Just think about the possibilities if we moved through the fear our inner critic has instilled to take a chance on that passion project, writing that book, taking that trip, reaching out to that person, or whatever has been put on the shelf because our inner critic said so. Imagine the joy we’d feel!

Now, I want to be realistic. Regaining control of our inner critic is hard work and requires that thing that is so hard to attain and maintain: discipline. But, once in practice, it has the power to change lives. Yes it’s a challenge, but weighing that against a lifetime of facing barriers between me and the life I want? That’s a challenge I’m willing to take on.

As Michael Singer says, “…there are two ways you can live: you can devote your life to staying in your comfort zone, or you can work on your freedom.”

I choose freedom and I hope you do, too.

Article originally posted Here

Finding Peace in a Midst of Chaos.

As 2020 continues to test our emotional resilience, finding respite from the loneliness, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, guilt, and grief that overwhelms us on a daily basis may seem impossible. However, taking steps to preserve our sanity is proving to be more important now than ever before.

Our first approach to finding peace in chaos, may be to distract ourselves with a slew of activities— increased time on social media, online shopping, working out at home, baking, etc. And while those seem to do the trick in the short term, they often quickly lose their appeal and we’re left with searching once again. So, what if we took a different approach? Instead of distracting ourselves from the present, what if we immersed ourselves in it?

As defined by the Mayo Clinic, mindfulness is a form of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. While this may seem at first look to be contrary to our end goal—relief—the practice of mindfulness has been proven to provide us with just that.

Popular podcast host and mindfulness and meditation coach, Felipe Muñoz of Empathic Practice, a wellness clinic in Florida, shares some of his tips on how we can elevate ourselves during this stressful and unprecedented time.

• Mindfulness: Acknowledge what is happening in front of you that you can accept and realize the items that you can change.

• Perspective of Hope: Ask yourself “Can I change my perspective, my persistence and my patience?”

• Gratitude: Reflect on what you are grateful for each day.

• Building resilience – You are your greatest cheerleader and advocate! Remind yourself of your successes of the day. Be open and honest to yourself. Believe in yourself and keep your expectations realistic.

To view some of Felipe’s guided meditation, visit links: Meditation on Moving Through Loneliness and Angst, Anger, Anxiety, and Awakening

As we face a future that is shrouded in uncertainty, our emotional wellbeing should be our first priority. The first step is to equip ourselves with the tools we need to support us in times of upheaval and the benefit isn’t only personal, it also allows us to serve as an example for the others around us.

People who are facing a suicidal crisis or emotional distress can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. More than 100 local crisis centers are a part of a national network working on this lifeline and are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Article originally posted Here

History Proves Women Will Endure—and We Will.

I’d like to start this article with an honest and sincere question: “Ladies, how are you doing?”

As we upon the ninth month of the pandemic in the U.S., I ask this question truly concerned for the mental, emotional and physical well-being of women, who, as studies have shown, are disproportionately affected. If you’re reading this and are fortunate enough to say that you’ve not been directly affected, I kindly say to you, you are not excluded—all women are impacted, one way or another.

Though there are many ways in which times of crisis expose the vast gender inequality and imbalance in our society, here are a few of examples specific to our current situation. According to The Bureau of Labor Statistics, 55% of the 20.5 million workers who became unemployed in April were women, compared to 13% of men. Women make up 70% of the healthcare workforce and are being infected with Covid at higher rates, impacting their health and families. Working women are quitting their jobs to home school children at higher rates compared to men, impacting their income levels and careers well beyond the pandemic. And, the safety of women is at stake due to the rise in domestic violence cases in the U.S. and around the world.

I know, this is very discouraging. As if the challenges we battle on a regular day weren’t enough, a crisis, like this, has a way of handing us even more than we can possibly handle. But, as history has proven time and time again, women are extraordinarily resilient and have an innate power to channel challenge and despair into action and tangible change.

In honor of the three awareness holidays that take place annually in October that are important to me (National Domestic Violence Awareness, Hispanic Heritage Month, and National Book Month) I bring you this list of astounding women who have faced immense challenges and crisis head-on, in hopes that you find some inspiration in their stories, as I have.

• Erin Pizzey – Though she is still largely unknown, Erin holds a key role in the women’s movement. She opened the first women’s shelter, providing women refuge from violent relationships in England in 1971.

• Frida Khalo – Before becoming one of the most famous Latinas in history, Frida’s life is a story of strength, motivation and female ambition. After enduring a grueling accident that nearly took her life and caused her lifelong disability and pain, she continued to blaze the way for women during and beyond her time.

Frida Kahlo

• Ida B. Wells – Born into slavery, Ida became a prominent journalist and activist during her time, shedding light on the plight of African Americans in the South, advocating on behalf of women, and standing up in the face of sexism, racism and violence.

Ida B. Wells

• Sylvia Rivera – A Venezuelan, Puerto Rican transgender activist from New York, Sylvia was a leading voice, advocating on behalf of transgender people, drag queens, homeless queer youth, and others who were dismissed by the mainstream gay rights movements.

So, woman to woman, if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. As the women–who I’ve listed here, among countless others–have proven, we have the ability to overcome. Let us find strength and inspiration in their tenacity, as their ability to endure has changed history for the rest of us.

Article originally posted HERE

Struggling to Catch Some Z’s in a Pandemic? You’re not Alone. Here are Some Tips

Getting to sleep can be difficult when we have a lot on our minds. Stress about finances, work, family, and good ol’ anxiety are just a few of the things that keep us up at night. Now, here comes 2020, and you add a global pandemic, grave social injustice, civil unrest and an upcoming contentious presidential election to the mix, you can’t help but wonder “am I ever going to sleep, again?”

The fact that Americans suffer from a lack of sleep is not a new concept and has been documented and researched by health officials for decades. A 2016 study by the CDC revealed that more than a third of adults don’t get enough sleep (at least 7 hours), leading to an increased risk of health conditions like obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and mental distress. And, the factors that contribute to our lack of sleep vary from medical disorders to socio-economic status to mental health. The issue is so pervasive among Americans that the CDC has deemed sleep disorders a public health epidemic.

Now, more than ever, the state of our health, physical and mental wellbeing have been spotlighted by the COVID-19 pandemic. And, the unfortunate truth is, we aren’t doing so well.  We, as a society, are in ill physical health, stressed out, overwhelmed, and mentally and emotionally drained. It’s no wonder we can’t sleep soundly. However, if we can manage to prioritize anything amidst all of this uncertainty, sleep should be ranked right up top with the others.

Coined as the “latest casualty of the COVID-19 crisis” in an article in the Harvard Gazette, sleep disorders are understandably on the rise; however, there are measures we can take to help improve our ability to catch some quality Z’s—naturally, without medication.

• Get in a schedule – Commit to going to bed and waking up at the same time, every day. Getting into this routine not only provides us with structure, but it helps our bodies regulate and align with natural circadian rhythms.

• Avoid a midday nap – I know, from personal experience, that this is extremely difficult to avoid, but it does help. If you feel drowsy midday and need an immediate burst of energy, take a brisk walk. You’ll quickly feel the benefits and you’ll reserve that sleep for the nighttime hours.

• Don’t sleep too much – Yes, sleeping too much can have negative effects. The ideal amount is 7 hours, any more than that can keep you in a perpetual state of drowsiness.

• Turn off those devices – Mindless social media scrolling and television binging tend to suck up hours and negatively impact our sleep quality. Turn off your devices at least an hour before your bedtime—and, even better, two hours before.

Article originally posted HERE

Coping with COVID-19: Your Mental Health Matters.

As we enter the month of May, many holidays we’d normally spend with friends and family may be relegated to, yet another, virtual gathering—or not even celebrated at all. However, there is an observance that we can’t afford to neglect this month: Mental Health Awareness. And, due to the unprecedented situation we’re in, the need is even greater now.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, roughly 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year. If those numbers aren’t staggering enough, throw in the uncertainty, fear, and trauma of a global pandemic—and, you’ve got the makings of a greater mental health crisis. According to a recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, 45 percent of Americans feel that Coronavirus has negatively impacted their mental health. And, as the developments around COVID-19 continue to evolve, it is very likely that this percentage will continue to grow.

How to care for your mental health

There are many actions you can take to support your mental and emotional well-being; however, the first step is recognizing that everyone has different coping mechanisms—some negative and positive. Don’t constantly compare yourself to others who you may think have it all together. The goal for our own mental stability is to figure out what positive mechanisms suit us best—and, we should aim to do them often. It may be something such as picking up the phone to give an elderly neighbor a call to check in;  volunteering in your community; binge-watching your favorite show; relaxing and sleeping in; or, organizing that space, closet, or cupboard that you’ve been putting off for too long. Whatever it may be, it’s important that we practice behaviors that make us authentically feel good in a safe and secure way. And, another thing, it’s ok to turn off the news and put down social media from time to time. Overconsumption of a barrage of news can take a negative toll on our psychological and emotional health and we need to take caution in that.

Your mental health matters

Coronavirus and all its implications have upended our lives while putting overwhelming pressure on our ability to be nimble and adapt to new norms. And, our normal response to this type of situation—like any other natural or human-caused disaster—is anxiety and stress. We all experience these emotions to varying degrees; however, it’s important to understand that we don’t have to deal with it alone. Taking steps to preserve your mental health is critical in getting through this in a healthy emotional state and without long-term, damaging effects. During this time, put yourself first. Take action to care for yourself—your mental health matters.

If you or someone you know is in a crisis, there are resources you can reach out to for support. Visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness website for more information on what’s available in your community.

Article originally posted HERE

Weed over Wine: Top Three Health Trends of 2020.

I have mixed feelings about health trends. They have both the ability to rise to the level of outrageous and bizarre (urotherapy or vaginal sunbathing, anyone?) or introduce something that has the power to change our lives (prioritizing self-care and more sleep!).

As the health and wellness industry continues to grow exponentially, here’s a list of the top three trends we can expect to see in 2020. And, I’m happy to report, I can get on board with these.

Prioritizing Mental Health

After generations of being kept in the dark, the discussion around mental health has FINALLY made its way into the light. In the last decade, prioritizing a positive mental health state has become the primary focus for those on the path to well-being. In a recent NBC article, mental health advocate and reporter Nicole Spector shared her insight into the cultural shift she’s witnessed. “…I’ve seen the advancements up close and personal and can say with certainty that in 2010 I wouldn’t have dreamed of writing pieces like “How to talk about mental health issues at work” or “A mental health check-in: 14 questions to ask your child” for a national news outlet. Such topics just weren’t so, well, topical back then.”

Weed over Wine

If there’s one thing you can say about millennials, it’s that they are quite health conscious and many are opting to stay out of bars and are instead hitting the dispensary for something to take the edge off. As scientific research continues to dissolve the stigma around marijuana, the largest generation in the U.S. is choosing cannabis over alcohol as a means to improve health (no nasty hangovers) and overall quality of life. This shift will ultimately reduce alcohol-related deaths and medical issues, allowing people to function and thrive on higher levels (no pun intended).

Carnivores Go Plant-Based (or, are more willing to try at least)

Look, veganism or vegetarianism isn’t for everyone; however, it’s hard to deny the science behind the fact that consuming processed animal protein can negatively impact our health and environment. But, it looks like they’ve finally found a way to sway the unswayable and get die-hard on board with the meatless Mondays movement. With the recent boom of plant-based alternatives like Beyond Beef and Impossible Foods making their debut on historically meat-dominated fast food menus, those meat-eaters are giving plant-based a try. Who says you need meat to have fun??

Every year, as these wellness trends peak and fizzle, it’s ultimately up to us to decide what works best for our unique mental and physical needs. The rise of the wellness movement is a testament to the fact that most of us are on a journey to finding the secret to maintain, sustain and support a positive state of well-being–and if that means vaginal sunbathing for you–then go on, girl. You do you!

Article originally posted HERE

The Girls Club

The link between cannabis and lady parts is closer than you think.

There are many reasons I love being a woman. We are powerful—often immeasurably so. We are passionate. We are nurturers. We are a force to be reckoned with. It has taken me more years than I care to admit to realize the true power of being a woman. And now that I know, I embrace it in all its blazing glory. 

Now there are plenty of things I can do. Number one, periods. Number two, cramps—which suck worse than Aunt Flow herself. I could do without the hormone imbalances and, when the time comes, menopause. Not to mention all of the societal stresses. 

What’s a girl to do? Is it our curse to deal with these mental stressors and physical discomforts, or is there something out there designed to assist and relieve us of our ailments? Well, for the perfect remedy, leave it to the mother of all mothers, the woman in charge, the matriarch of us all: Lady Cannabis. 

The benefits of cannabis to our emotional and physical health are astounding. Cannabis has been used to relieve menstrual pain for centuries and has even been shown to alleviate PMS symptoms. According to an article by Melinda Misuraca in the Emerald Report, cannabis use can be found in ancient texts from China, Egypt, Persia, Israel/Palestine, and Syria for cramps, bloating, and abnormally heavy or nonexistent bleeding, as well as menopausal symptoms, urinary tract infections, and uterine hemorrhage after childbirth. 

Misuraca goes on to state that the US Pharmacopoeia and US National Formulary recognized the benefits of cannabis from the mid-1800s until the 1940s. It was even recognized by the renowned Journal of American Medical Association as “one of the most valuable and satisfactory drugs” for just about every female reproductive condition. 

Now, let’s talk about mental health. It’s no secret that women experience higher levels of anxiety and mental stress compared with our male cohorts (insert patriarchal-driven social narrative here), and Mary Jane offers relief for these conditions, too. According to a World Health Organization re- port, cannabidiol (CBD) may provide therapeutic benefits for numerous maladies, including those which are more prone to women: cardiovascular disease, depression, anxiety, Alzheimer’s disease, and rheumatoid arthritis. 

Menopause? Check. Anxiety? Check. Menstrual cramps? Check. Hormone imbalances? Check. 

As research surrounding the many, many medicinal properties continues to surge, it’s hard not to think that cannabis was made exclusively for women—thank you, Mother Nature. 

So, if the connection between cannabis and gynecological health is so intimately intertwined, what about reproduction? Well, developing science around this issue is on the rise. Though the research is quite scarce for many reasons, whether related to ethics or stigma, science is now beginning to scratch the surface of how cannabinoids in the plant interact with the endocannabinoid system (ECS) in our bodies. The human body produces cannabinoid substances that mirror what is derived from the plant, and they play a vital role in dictating the bodily functions within virtually every mammal, including the female reproductive process. 

In an article for Medical Marijuana, Inc., Eve Ripley states: “The ECS regulates these various functions through sub- stances called endocannabinoids, which bind to cannabinoid receptors in the brain and throughout the peripheral nervous system and immune systems—sometimes, however, the ECS can become deficient in endocannabinoids. This can cause endocannabinoid system dysregulation, leading to an imbalance in the body and eventually health issues.” Studies also reveal that a healthy, well-functioning ECS system may help suppress mood swings and depression. 

There are a growing number of women who are opting to use THC and CBD products, such as bath bombs, tinctures, and topicals, to relieve the pain of child birthing over pharmaceuticals. And to take it a step further, some women are using it as a natural alternative to the drug Pitocin, which accelerates labor and often leads to C-Sections. 

In the article “10 Surprising Facts about Cannabis and Pregnancy” published by trusted resource Green Flower Media, author Anna Wilcox writes: “Several cultures around the world still use cannabis and hemp products during pregnancy. While you’ll be hard-pressed to find medical professionals willing to suggest cannabis as a pregnancy remedy, many women still turn to the herb for relief from nausea and vomiting despite a lack of medical research on the topic.” 

As testimonials and scientific research continues to grow and cannabis products diversify, it’s not unreasonable to assume the link between ladies and cannabis will strengthen. I’m convinced that this natural connection transcends mere coincidence. Mother Nature has had our back the whole time. Which, in hindsight, isn’t a stretch. After all, us ladies must stick together. 

Originally posted in Orange County Sensi July 2019 issue and San Diego Sensi July 2019 issue.

Women Reconnect with their Canna-Roots

A growing surge of cannabis wellness retreats is focusing on women.

For centuries, women have come together in support of one another to discuss and find solutions for life situations that include intimate and personal issues. Seeking advice and support on topics ranging from fertility and health to emotional and physical healing, we had a sense of community that allowed us to thrive and feel like we had a village. 

Unfortunately, in recent times there has been a shift in the societal narrative that tells us to be wary and untrusting of one another, causing a detrimental wedge among us that negatively impacts our ability to thrive and nurture our well-being. This disconnection not only pertains to each other, but it also relates to a detachment to nature and natural healing practices.

History shows that the connection between women, weed, and wellness dates back over 4,000 years. In a 2017 interview with Vice, Ellen Komp, author of Tokin’ Women: A 4,000 Year Herstory, shares how Queen Victoria used weed to quell the aches and pains of menstruation and how in the third millennium Ishtar, a predominant Siberian goddess, was associated with the cannabis plant.

However, decades upon decades of disconnection have left women depleted and longing for a reconnection—and there is hope! We are on the verge of a shift. The recent surge in the female-driven wellness and self-care movement has reignited women’s natural inclination to unite and engage in restorative healing practices and seek solace from the tedium of our daily lives.

As women continue to pioneer the wellness movement and establish themselves as a driving force in the cannabis industry, the merging of these two female-centric industries is upon us. As a result, there is a rise in women-only cannabis retreats across the United States—and the world.

Given the moniker “cannabliss retreat,” these getaways offer yoga and meditation and provide an atmosphere that encourages women to reconnect with one another and themselves while fitting in a “sesh” at their leisure–no judgment.

In a 2017 article by Erin Magner on Well+Good, Sailene Ossman, co-founder of Ganja Goddess Getaway, stated, “The vision is to offer women a way to connect with their divine feminine and to connect to each other as sisters, and we feel that cannabis is the ideal tool to accomplish both. We’re creating a movement of sisterhood and connection through cannabis.”

This emerging trend, coined feminism wellness by a report published by the Global Wellness Summit in 2018, is only anticipated to grow in the years to come. A Google search for “women’s cannabis retreats” generates roughly 3.2 million results. Add “in California” to that, and you’ll get just over 1 million results. So, ladies, if you’re searching for the perfect female-empowered “trip,” your options are plenty.

As science delves deeper into the cannabis sphere, I find it inevitable that a resurrection of the female connection through cannabis will continue to emerge. The women of today cannot afford to keep on keepin’ on the way we’ve been: overworked, overstressed, overlooked, overprescribed, and overwhelmed. We are left with no choice but to regain control over our own health and well-being and re-establish our connection to other like-minded women.

Article originally posted in Orange County Sensi June 2019 issue as well as San Diego Sensi June 2019 issue.

Mamacitas Blazing the Way

In our first installment of Women, Weed & Wellness: CBD is the answer to reclaiming our health. 

Let me start by being totally honest: My experience with cannabis until the last year has mostly been from my days as a teenager—and that was many moons ago. I have been on a personal wellness journey, which eventually led me to cannabis. I do a lot of research on the natural products that stock our shelves, but it can be a bit overwhelming. I started simply, finding products that were safe for me and my family to use. In no uncertain terms, CBD is where I landed. 

As I write, my house is in the throes of a butt-kicking flu virus—body aches, headaches, and inflammation are just a few of the symptoms. Instead of reaching for the NyQuil to suppress them, I’m turning to CBD. Like many other women I know, I am looking to steer clear of the synthetic pharmaceuticals of yesterday and replace them with natural homeopathic substitutes. CBD is in my arsenal because when my family and I need relief, whether it be for the common cold, the flu, or pain management, CBD is the best recourse. 

Women are establishing a place at the forefront of the booming cannabis industry from a wellness standpoint. The majority of those women are mothers. In a recent article in The Atlantic, Lindsey Hunter Lopez reports that as cannabis becomes more socially acceptable, mothers are turning to the plant’s many derivatives to deal with stress, anxiety, aches, pains, and more. Cannabis marketers have taken notice of the increasing popularity among the mom demographic and are expanding their efforts from what was a predominately male target demo to include women and children. 

As part of that precise demographic, I was initially motivated to research cannabis for its wellness and non-addictive properties. But I have also been inspired to hear from women directly in the business, to find out what drives them to pursue this dynamic and unsteady industry. 

I recently spoke with Katie Hernandez, CEO of the cannabis startup Elevated Greens. As a mother and longtime supporter of the movement, she has developed a line of cannabis products that are beneficial for the whole family, including 100 percent vegan, all-natural baked goods, teas, salves, and oils. Personal experience inspired Hernandez’s jump into the cannabis industry. In a joint statement with co-founder Gloria Memije, Hernandez said, “We have children who cope with eczema and have tried numerous products, prescription and over-the-counter—none of which provided relief. With that being said, we decided to create a product that we were comfortable using on our ourselves and on our families. Thus, we created Elevated Greens.” 

These ladies are among many who are on a mission to raise awareness and reduce stigma around cannabis, particularly among women and the elderly. As this movement is still in its infancy, these women are motivated by three things: passion, ambition, and an opportunity to see each other thrive in the cannabis space. Elevated Greens has hit the ground running, and you’ll find the line at various the women-in-cannabis events around LA, Orange County, and the Inland Empire (updates on Instagram @ELEVATEDGREENS_EST2019). 

As I immerse myself more and more into the cannabis industry, documenting the stories of ambitious women who are driven by passion and a better way of life, I look forward to witnessing—and experiencing—firsthand how women blaze the way in cannabis, especially as it pertains to wellness and overall quality of life. Whether you’re down for the count from the flu or ready to tackle the day, light it up, ladies! A revolution is afoot. 

Originally posted in Sensi May 2019

Are You A Confident Person? Tips to Build Self-Confidence.

If someone were to ask if you considered yourself a confident person, what would you say? The majority of us would probably respond with a yes, because responding with a no, would reveal a vulnerability that we’d rather keep to ourselves. But, do we really understand what it means to have true self-confidence?

It is common to think of self-confidence in terms of specific personality traits such as charisma, assertiveness, and extrovert tendencies. However, confidence is not a trait at all; instead, it is something that is cultivated and developed over time through experience and failures. 

The definition of self-confidence is trusting our abilities, qualities, and judgment, which means that we feel worthy, willing, and capable regardless of how challenging a situation might be. These feelings, in turn, enable us to nurture our authenticity and adaptability – which are the hallmarks of confidence. 

So, how do we cultivate confidence? 

According to renowned High-Performance coach and New York Times best-selling author, Brendon Burchard, five human drives lead us towards confidence:

1. 1. Exercising control over our thought processes, habits and behavior: This control encourages our engagement in positive actions, which lead to a positive state of mind.

1. 2. Fostering competence: It is critical for us to consistently educate ourselves and hone our skills to function successfully and efficiently.

1. 3. Maintaining congruence: Living in alignment with our ideal self and who we present to the world alleviates anxiety and reinforces the value that we hold for ourselves. Authenticity is a critical component of self-confidence.

1. 4. Caring for ourselves and others: Self-care plays a crucial role in leading a healthy and bountiful life. It is essential to our well-being that we prioritize our needs, which allow us to reinvigorate our energy and be more receptive to the needs of others.

1. 5. Establishing a positive connection: As humans, having positive connectivity to others is a vital component of our ability to thrive and grow as individuals. Surround yourself with others that inspire and motivate you to be your best self.

Embarking on the journey to build self-confidence, is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires us to connect with the most sensitive parts of ourselves, which we have been conditioned to keep highly guarded. But, as I have experienced through my journey, this awareness and connection has allowed me to be more honest and compassionate with myself. I have come to understand that we can figure things out, and that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength. Always remember, you got this!

Article originally posted HERE

Live Your Truth: Five Reasons Why the Truth Prevails.

We have all lied.

Studies show that Americans average around 11 lies per week. And, if you read this and say you don’t, well, that is a lie.

Now let’s be honest. We have all lied for different reasons. We have lied to save ourselves from the consequences of our actions. We have lied to those close to us for the sake of preserving their feelings. We have lied to be accepted by others. And, at some point, we have lied to mask our own truth.

We live in an age where at every turn we are inundated with falsehoods and deceitful information. Take social media for example. Instagram and Facebook feeds are pervaded with exaggerations and grandiose facades. These depictions aren’t truths, they are blatant misrepresentations. Yet, we willingly revel in and eat up the deceptions.

These examples get me thinking- does truth hold relevance and value against even the most elaborate lie?

Well, call me an optimist, but I’d like to think that truth holds value above all. Being truthful not only allows us to live a life of authenticity but can also help us live longer.

Research shows that telling the truth is not only good for our mental health but benefits our physical health as well. In a study by Anita E. Kelly, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame, participants were separated into two groups: the no-lie group and the control group. The no-lie group was asked to abstain from telling major and minor lies for ten weeks. At the conclusion of the study, Kelly found that the health of the no-lie group was significantly stronger than that of their counterparts.

Now, if the health implications aren’t enough of a reason, here are five additional reasons why the truth prevails:

1. Living life authentically allows you to get to know who you really are. In a society where we are expected to abide by and adhere to the rules of what we are supposed to be – it is the ultimate freedom.

2. Lies can only be sustained for so long. You never have to worry about being “discovered” or have the continuous pressure of keeping up a façade. You are who you are – and your enough.

3. You become a beacon for others who respect and value the truth. And those that don’t, oh well. You don’t want them in your orbit anyway.

4. You set an example for others who struggle to live truthfully, and that is not for the faint of heart. Living your truth requires strength, courage, vulnerability, and confidence –qualities that we all strive for, yet struggle to attain. However, living truthfully is a great start.

5. And finally, the truth is a conduit for love, respect, and empowerment. Living honestly enables you to fully love yourself and others with ease, earns respect from those you honor and cherish, and empowers us to cultivate a deeper relationship with yourself and others.

Embarking on living a life of truth does not happen overnight. It is a journey that requires the unraveling of lifelong conditioning, real commitment, and inner strength.

Will you receive negative responses from those around you for being truthful? Absolutely. Should that deter you from speaking and living your truth? Hell no.

Article originally posted HERE

The Five Friends You Keep Matter More Than You Think.

I recently had a conversation with a mentor of mine regarding friendships. I was expressing my concern about the difficulty of meeting new people in this phase of my life (late thirties) who share the same interests and who can inspire my creativity. She gave me some sound advice, and also said something that resonated with me.

“You’re an amalgamation of the five people you spend the most time with.” 

Really?? Then I must be a healthy combination of my toddler, teenager, mother, and husband. Which in retrospect, is pretty accurate assessment, even though that’s only four. 

However, this did inspire me to start thinking about my circle of friends, and how they impact my life in different ways.

According to the renowned motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, the five people we spend the most time with directly influence our self-perception, confidence, interests, hobbies, decision making and behavior. Your immediate surroundings affect many aspects of your life; therefore, a regular check-in and assessment on your squad is in order. 

Many of the friends we decide to keep in our lives for long, or short, periods of time vary on the purpose that they serve for us. In assessing your circle, here are five types of friends that play an essential role:

The Blunt One

Never one to mince words, she always speaks her mind and often says what everyone else is thinking…but wouldn’t dare say. The honesty you receive from this one is authentic, straightforward, and real. This friend typically stays around the longest because the trust runs deep. If you’re the type that can take criticism, then this is the friend you must have in your corner…if your skin is tough enough.

The Matriarch

Everyone calls her “mom” and may come off as having a Mother Theresa complex. She wants to serve as everyone’s conscious and maybe a bit of a downer; however, she is often sympathetic and whether you like it or not, the voice of reason.

The Go-Getter

She is regularly embarking on a new quest, whether it be taking a new class, traveling to some obscure place, or consistently adopting new hobbies. Complacency is not in her vocabulary. Nothing is too challenging; everything is a challenge accepted.

The Optimist

She is the “ray of sunshine” and can find the bright side of things, often to the point of annoyance. Despite, the fact that her infinite capacity for positivity can become downright annoying, you need to have a friend like this. They may be your only insight into what good is left in the world.

The Soul Searcher

When times are at their lowest, she is the one you call when you’re in need of a heart to heart. Life holds a deeper meaning for this friend, and shallowness is not an option. She is the one, who by proxy of her journey, is more than willing to bring you along for the ride.

So, to be more concise:

•    The blunt one will never lie to you

•    The matriarch will always take care of you

•    The go-getter will encourage you to challenge yourself and push your boundaries

•    The optimist will enable you to see the good in all

•    The soul searcher will help you discover your value

If you’ve already have these five friends (most of us do, without realizing it) keep them close.

Article originally posted HERE

Three Ways Smiling Can CHANGE Your Life

We all have those days. You know, those days where nothing seems to go right. You hit the snooze button a few more times than you’d expect, and wake up late. Already under the stress of running late for work, your toddler (for us parents out there) decides that, on this particular morning, they will do the exact opposite of everything you ask. Please get dressed? No. Please eat breakfast? I don’t wanna. Then when you’ve finally wrangled your toddler and managed to get out the door and into your car, halfway down the road, you realize you left your cell phone at home.

Yeah…those mornings!

Well, like every human being on the planet, we experience good days and bad days. However, on those bad days, the last thing we are thinking of is flashing our pearly whites at others who cross our paths. But, studies have shown, that smiling, even when forced, can trick our brains into thinking its happy and can boost our mood. And nowadays, who couldn’t use a little more happiness in their lives? I know I can!

The global spiritual leader and author Tich Nhat Hanh said: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” This idea has been supported by spiritual leaders around the globe and supported by science for years. Studies have shown that there are significant social and biological benefits associated with the act of smiling. So, when you find yourself on the “moody train,” here are three reasons to crack that smile and change emotional course. 

1. A Happy Brain Relieves Pain: Even if you are genuinely in a bad mood, the simple act of smiling releases the “feel-good” neurotransmitters in your brain: dopamine, and endorphins. The release of these “happy” chemicals contribute to relaxation, lowered heart rate, and pain relief.

2. Smiling Signifies Self Confidence: Studies show that smiling directly affects how others treat and perceive you. When a person is smiling, they immediately come across as approachable, confident, and easy going. Even if you lack these personal feelings within, smiling can help convince you, and those around you, otherwise.

3. Smiling Helps You Stay Healthy: Studies have proven that large amounts of stress and manifested negative thought patterns create harmful chemical reactions in the body and that the act of smiling and laughing can boost the immune system. The act of laughing increases the body’s oxygen levels, therefore stimulating the heart and lungs, and causes the brain to release neuropeptides into the system which aid in the alleviation of potential illness

So, the next time you’re feeling down, take time out to binge on funny Youtube videos and screwball comedies, without guilt. It’s literally good for your health! 

WANT TO GET OUT OF A RUT? TRUST YOUR GUT.

I had a bit of a revelation in the last month, and it was not one that I was happy to reveal. I have – and kind of still am – in a personal rut. It took me a while to realize that this is precisely what I have been experiencing because I am a pragmatist. I know that life isn’t always sunflowers and whipped cream. I know it can be difficult, and just the task of staying afloat in its ebb and flow can become daunting, therefore causing it to lose its flavor. However, the feelings that have recently taken over me are distinctively something more.

Though it’s not uncommon for us to inadvertently get caught up in the tedium of everyday life, it is essential to our well being that we recognize the signs of being in a rut and make some changes quickly before too much time escapes us. So, if any of these apply to you, sorry to say, you may be experiencing a rut as well.

• Accomplishing tasks, but with noticeably less excitement and vigor.

• Feeling lackluster when doing things that used to evoke happiness.

• Experiencing ennui in your day-to-day.

• Creatively stagnant and uninspired.

If they do, don’t fret. You’re not alone, and there is hope. Humankind is acutely aware of these feelings, and some things have been proven to pick you up and out of a rut. Here are a few:

1. Harness the power of the opposite. If you have been doing the same thing, in the same way, over a prolonged period of time, it is probably time to switch it up. All you have to do is do the opposite – it’s really that easy. Run instead of walk. If you eat late at night, eat earlier in the day. If you find yourself on your phone mindlessly scrolling at all hours of the night, then stop.

2. Lighten up. Not everything is within your control, and sometimes – as tricky as it may be – just has to be accepted. Once you have experienced the ease of alleviation, you’ll definitely reconsider taking the reins every time.

3. Say yes. This may be the only way to truly get out of your comfort zone. Being open to new experiences and not shutting them down, just may be what you need to shake it up.

4. Follow your gut. We often underestimate the power of our instinct. It the most innate ability we have as humans, yet we have been taught to question it, and more often, ignore it. But going against our instinct is probably a factor as to why you are in this rut in the first place, so its time to start listening.

Article originally posted HERE

SELF-CARE: YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

My female friends would attest that I am an advocate for self-care. I am a cheerleader, shouting affirmations like, get that massage! Take that class! Book that flight! I’m all about encouraging others to do things that instinctively make them feel good and contribute to a positive state of well-being. We all deserve that, right?

The idea of self-care is not new. Originally promoted by medical professionals as a means to inspire healthy behavior, the philosophy of self-care was explored and perpetuated by feminists and philosophers, including the renowned French philosopher Michel Foucault, who believed that care of self leads to ultimate freedom. After the 2016 election, the term experienced a robust renaissance (I wonder why?) and proliferated on social media. And as with most things, the gaining popularity opened the marketing floodgates. Google the term “self-care” and you will get over 1.19 billion hits. It’s no surprise that the self-care business is BIG, but is the constant barrage of comprehensive lists, tips, activities, products, diets, and beauty routines in the name of self-care really necessary? Search #selfcare on Instagram and images of impeccable manicures, cake, and bathtubs filled with fruit and rose petals are generated. 

How is cake justified as self-care?

With the resurgence of society’s obsession and over marketing of the self-care lifestyle, the essence of the practice has been diluted and the purpose submerged beneath the promotion of various products and services. What may be endorsed as self-care are really just ostensible activities that provide a superficial and often temporary state of well-being and neglect to really delve deep into what the true meaning of self-care really is.

Real self-care is done on a consistent basis and should not be limited to a biweekly mani/pedi or scheduled massage. But rather, time set aside every day to check in with our mind, heart and gut and bestow some love on ourselves. It is crucial to our physical and mental health that we are consistently aware of our feelings and emotions; recognizing what we are grateful for and what are we lacking; conscious of what we need and what can we give; identifying our thought and behavior patterns; and acknowledging what puts us at ease and what distresses us. We need time to get to know ourselves. Because really being aware of who we are as individuals, lends to the strength of our relationships and how we interact with others.

We all hold purpose in this world and abide by and adhere to the responsibilities of our various roles, whether they fall within the realm of partner, parent, professional, or offspring. Nonetheless, it can get damn exhausting, which is why we need to show up, touch base and allow ourselves a chance to recharge and replenish the energy that we emit on a regular basis.

Article originally posted HERE

The Dirty Secret Behind the Walls of Wealth

Highly publicized cases of domestic violence dominate our headlines and involve some of the most high-profile individuals in society. Yet, the stigma that surrounds women of wealth still perpetuates the myth that they are immune to incidents of domestic violence – which is far from the truth.

With the rise of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements surrounding the pervasiveness of sexual assault in the workplace, we have witnessed women – predominantly affluent women- speak up and publicly come forward and share their personal experiences. This caused massive watershed moment that resulted in the long overdue professional and reputational demise of some of the most powerful perpetrators in society and sparked a national conversation regarding an issue that has long impeded women, of all classes, to acquire a seat at the proverbial table.

Statistics show that one in three women worldwide will fall victim to domestic violence in their lifetime. These staggering statistics, however, only reflect the population of women who actually report abuse to authorities or seek resources to aid them in seeking refuge, and this population is primarily women of low-income status. It is, therefore, important to question how many unaccounted victims of abuse there are, and from which communities they come. Domestic violence among affluent women go largely unreported for an array of reasons, but this tendency to not report skews the current statistics and research, therefore making it appear that domestic violence within affluent communities is essentially nonexistent.

However, our headlines tell a different story.

With the exception of a few highly publicized cases, incidences of domestic violence within affluent communities are often shrouded in secrecy and considered by society to be few and far between. This assumption problematically reinforces the stereotype and social stigma that domestic violence is only an experience had by “poor” women. This dangerous conjecture contributes to society’s minimization of the severity of the issue in its entirety, among women from every socio-economic background, while perpetuating the trend to dismiss and denounce  victims and neglect to bring high-profile abusers to justice to face the legal and societal repercussions of their actions, which at the moment, is at best minimal.

Now, it is a critical time for women and men from all socio-economic backgrounds to unify and expand the conversation that the recent movements have started and include the issue of domestic violence and its prevalence among all women, regardless of class, race, and education level.

It’s about time that domestic violence has its #MeToo moment.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please don’t wait to seek help. It can save a life. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Article originally posted HERE